Its a beautiful morning. You don’t have to clock into your 9-5. There are no children in the other room fighting over who stole who’s legos or you took their pop tart. The deep, rich aroma of coffee is luring you out of your slumber, because you were smart and programmed the coffee maker the night before. Subtle and soothing rays of sunshine delicately paint patterns of light on your body as you awaken with hope and inspiration for an amazing day.
Then you realize that all your friends are away for the weekend, at work, or have other awesome things to do with their families or other friends. That leaves you alone to conquer this day. Now, do you stay in your pj’s and Netflix it up with that Rumchata that you added to your cup of joe? Or do you grab adventure by the horns and demand it take you on a stimulating ride?
I know a lot of people who would rather chill at home than do something by themselves. I can relate to this! 10 years ago, I found myself single again. Most people romanticize the notion of how much fun single life can be. “Oh man! What i wouldn’t give to just have the freedom to do whatever I wanted, when I wanted!!” “I miss walking around the house naked, drinking wine!” “I miss the late-night karaoke with the hair brush as a microphone!” What they forget is that when you are single, most of your friends are in relationships or have dogs that need to be groomed and fed and are not readily available to get dolled up and run up to the bar on a Tuesday night. Or if all the laundry is done and their SO’s are content, not everyone is up for taking a pole dance class with a bunch of strange women. I ran into this issue myself. I have a long list of activities that either my friends weren’t into, or they didn’t have time for. I didn’t want to do stuff alone because, well…I was scared. What would people think? What if I do this and I look dumb or like a loner? What if I hate it? Not only is this type of thinking sad and pathetic, it also left me doing NOTHING I wanted to do.
One day, I had enough. I decided that I was just going to get my dancing shoes on and go take a dance class by myself. So what if I didn’t have anyone to hang out with. There would be music. There would be a class and maybe I could meet some people who wouldn’t care if I got dizzy after all those spins and fell. As I pulled up into the parking lot of the dance hall, I was trembling so hard with nerves that you would have thought I was going through drug withdrawals. Still, I got out of the car, waltzed into the bar, and took that first class alone with others watching, judging me with those curious eyes. Once the class began, I had an amazing time! I was still a little nervous, but there was a purpose for me being there. I actually didn’t trip or fall! The first time doing something alone was the hardest. But that one step outside my comfort zone was so liberating and addicting. I swore to myself that I would not let not having anyone to do it with hold me back.
So, now 10 years later, I still do things alone all the time. People look at me like I am crazy, but often times, I prefer it! This past weekend, I took myself to a movie, and then to lunch. No having to talk someone through the previews or worry that they are enjoying the movie. No having to worry that your friend is going to be late and you won’t get a good seat. If I want to eat Indian food and no one else wants it, screw it. I will go by myself. Yes, I still love friend time. No, I am not saying to omit your friends from your activities just because they think belly dancing is dumb. Just try the things you want to try. If you enjoy it, you can tell everyone how much fun it was, and maybe they will do it with you next time. Or maybe you will make a new set of awesome friends.
When you date yourself, you can go see that cheesy tween movie that your friends think is another version of Twilight. You can try the fancy restaurant that your SO doesn’t want to try because it’s not their style. You have nothing holding you back. So many people limit themselves to only doing things with other people and don’t give themselves permission to do what they want for a change. Whether you are single, married, in a new relationship or just don’t give a crap, take yourself out on a date once in a while. If you don’t take care of your own happiness, then you won’t have happiness to give to others that you interact with.
Have you recently dated yourself and had an amazing time? Please comment and share your experience!