Life. We all have some kind of one whether it be fantastic, mediocre, or difficult. If your life is picture perfect, then you probably have a success story or something important to add to this blog, but for most of us, it’s not. Since we are 26 days into this new year, some of us have made “resolutions” and others haven’t. Out of the people who made the resolutions, about 50% of you have already made a detour into accomplishing them, or have said “Oh, I have the rest of the year!” Some of us are still trying to figure out what we want to accomplish and where our energies need to be focused. So, I thought I would write this.
My life is great. I am not saying that it’s perfect, but I am very blessed in so many ways. It was not always like this though. I have made my share of mistakes, hurt people I loved, and gone down paths that I shouldn’t have. For those of you reading this that actually know me, you may remember when I was not in the most positive part in my life. I went through a time when I was pretty negative. I had a lot of negativity around me, my self-esteem went to crap, I gained weight, drank more than I should have, and generally may not have been the best company.
I was, in fact, Lost. Lost meaning, I had lost myself. Lost my way in life. Lost sight of my goals, things that made me happy, and my dreams. Lost the sight to know that there was more to life than what I was experiencing. I felt alone, ugly, dumb, and directionless. I am not telling you this to feel sorry for me. I am telling you this to make you realize that if you are feeling this way or have felt this way in the past, that you are not alone, and that feeling sorry will not help you, as it sure didn’t help me.
What did help:
- Good friends. They didn’t coddle me and feel sorry for me. Instead of focusing on the negative items in my life, we did things that made all of us smile. Go to the beach, go dancing, movie nights, bonfire nights with wine, etc. This was great. I didn’t need someone telling me how sorry they were. I needed someone to tell me, “That sucks, but hey! let’s go to the beach and get some fresh air!”
- Doing things for myself. At some point in your life, you have to be a little selfish. If you can’t do things for yourself to make yourself happy, you can’t be a positive beacon in someone else’s journey. I realized quickly that everyone’s world didn’t revolve around me. They had their own lives. There were things I wanted to do, but maybe didn’t have anyone to do them with. I spent more time at home and unhappy, wishing I was doing something else, but didn’t have anyone do to it with. Then I did something that scares 90% of us: I took a step outside of my comfort zone. I decided I was going to do things I wanted to do ALONE. If my friends or family wanted to come with me–awesome, but their absence wasn’t going to deter me from doing things I wanted to try to explore. For example: I really wanted to get back into dancing and I wanted to take salsa classes, but was too afraid to go alone. One night, I finally decided that I was going to go by myself and do it. I felt weird at first walking in alone, but once I got out on the dance floor, I didn’t care anymore. I made new friends, and every week when I went, my confidence was built more. Not because someone helped me, but because I did it myself, for myself. Now, I can pretty much do anything I want alone. And it doesn’t bother me. Yes, it’s more fun sometimes when you have friends with you, but the difference between living life, and not living life is a decision.
- Exercise. I know, I know. Yuk! Some of us love it, some of us do it because we like to eat, and others run far and fast away screaming as if it were a clown chasing them with a knife. It is a proven fact that exercise can not only improve your physical health, but also your mental health. You don’t have to join some expensive gym. Find something you like doing and do it 3-5 times a week. Not only will people start complimenting you, but you will feel better and ready to tackle life’s challenges with a clearer mental state. When I hit one of my latest low points, I stepped on the scale and saw that I had gained a lot of weight! So, I looked in the mirror, and instead of crying, I complimented myself. I said out loud: “I am beautiful. I am smart. I have great hair, beautiful curves, and awesome eyes.” Since then, I have lost 40 pounds. Of course, a change in eating habits and exercise went with that powerful mantra. Now, I love to workout. I have found things that I love, and others that I don’t love as much but do anyway because they are needed.
- Positive Affirmations / Mantras. This, I feel, is one of the most powerful things one can do for themselves. In my journey to Positivetown, I joined a direct-selling business that demanded us to leave our negativeness at the door for our weekly business meetings. Also, with everything we did, we could only say positive things. Even if our sales were not on par, we still had great things to say. This rolled over into my personal life. I took those same principles and created a mantra / positive affirmation that I said to myself daily. It has changed off and on, depending on my goals and situations. But here is an example of one of the mantras: “I am smart, beautiful, and successful. I am a top designer working for a great company. I have enough money to pay all my expenses.” Mantra’s / positive affirmations need to be personal and specific to what you want to happen in your life. When I wrote that mantra, I was in between jobs and broke. But i constantly recited that mantra to myself out loud in my car, at home, or wherever I needed to. I found a job quickly, and before long, was making enough money to pay for my expenses. And things just kept getting better after that.
To create your own life mantra, write down the things you want in your present and future, and make positive statements in the present tense. “I am wealthy. I have an amazing husband. I have my dream home.” Be specific. Whether you pray about them or creating a mantra or whatever. It has to be specific and positive and in the present tense.
So now, I would like you to take a look at your present “resolutions” or yearly, monthly, or weekly goals and think about things you are ready to change. Make a plan. Venture outside your comfort zone. Pray. Recite your personal mantra. Find something to be happy about.
I hope this has helped! If you have a success story, or I have helped in any way, please leave me a comment and share this blog with your friends and family. If you have any good tidbits to add, I would love to hear them as well. I would also love to hear your mantra!